Everything but the Pussy.

Wake up goddamn it!!

And no, I am not talking about cats. You saw the content warning before you entered. Fuck you.

I just saw a commercial for a spanish-language phone sex line. As much as I love how egalitarian that is, I still hate how puritanical this country's value structure is. It's 2008 in America. Any ad that isn't selling pussy, is using pussy to sell whatever the fuck they're pushing.

Girls Gone Wild, The Girls Next Door, Budweiser, eHarmony, The Spirit, Wanted, any of the "...of Love" or "...Charm School" reality shows, The Pick Up Artist, Beauty and the Geek, the list is endless.

In the most capitalistic country on earth, a country that is all about sex, drugs, and rock and roll... the only one you can legally sell is rock and roll (unless your at Wal-Mart).

I know some of you are gonna tell me there's a couple of counties in Nevada where prostitution is legal. Listen, if I'm not willing to put forth the effort to tell some broad what she wants to hear, and pretend to be the man of her dreams in order to get laid for the cost of a steak dinner and a couple of martinis, do you honestly think I'm willing to make the 500 mile trek to ButtFuck, NV (pardon the pun) to get some $1,000 ass? Of course I'm not. (And I'm not advocating deceptive behavior. I'm just saying that's what it takes to get laid these days. If you don't believe me, go to a bar, or a club, or an online dating service. "I was given this world, I didn't make it." Besides, I just said I won't do that shit. So don't try to make me the bad guy on this one. Kiss my ass.)

Seriously, let's get over it already folks. We're not fooling anybody but ourselves. Sex is tatooed on our DNA. If you're not doing it, you're thinking about doing it. Again, if you don't believe me take a look at the world around you. So how, in this day and age, can we possibly justify this contradicktion? It's legal to carry it, it's legal to use it, it's legal to sell its image (to anyone over 18), it's just not legal to sell IT itself. What else is there in this country that falls into this category? Pussy is one of the few commodities on Earth for which there is a universal demand, along with water, oxygen, and a few others. It is the only one which is illegal to sell. Why?

I'm not even a whore-monger. Nor am I advocating whore-mongering. My issue is with the ackwards-bass logic in this country. Is there any justification for this inconsistent "classification", for lack of a better word, of the poonani? Anything besides the fact that this land was colonized by a bunch of reiligious crusted nut-bars who view sex as a taboo? I don't think so.

For those who want to bring God into it. Are you telling me that the same God who made the human body, and created sex as the mechanism for perpetuating the species while simultaneously expressing romantic love (greatest of all gifts), and embedded the desire for sex deep within our nature as humans to the point that it is a central preoccupation from puberty on; that God doesn't want us to have and enjoy sex as often as possible? If Judeo-Christian values is where you're coming from, what's wrong with tons of sex within the parameters of a monogomous relationship? If you can reconcile these issues, then you must work in the Legislative Branch and be contributing to the legal framework that creates these very same contradictions.

*Ladies, (or gays) feel free to substitute dick for pussy. Lesbians, feel free to re-subtitute pussy for dick. That's not the heart of the issue. The point I'm making is about the contradictory ways this country deals with sex.