Wake up goddamn it!
Let me first couch my opinions. I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican. As far as I'm concerned all politicians are equally worthless. Like all rational, thinking people I have some conservative stances and some liberal stances.
With all that said, I'm awed by dyed-in-the-wool Conservatives calling the President "too partisan" with regard to the health care. How does one maintain a straight face while articulating such blatant hypocrisy? Republicans are having two "rebuttals" to the President's speech (which is way more bipartisan than it sounds). One rebuttal immediately following the address so as to not allow the President to completely dominate the news cycle. The other rebuttal will take place after they've had time to muster up some spin and disinformation, so it should be fun.
Pushing past my hot-air, and getting down to health care.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, -That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."
I'm quite certain I've read that somewhere. Go back and read that again, and you can probably guess where I'm going with this. Who can argue that access to health care is not essential to LIFE, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness? They are inseparable. If the people can "institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such forms, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their SAFETY and happiness," what is wrong with creating an "insurance exchange" and a government-run, non-profit provider?
If you call it socialism and say that you don't want to pay for my health care, then I hope you don't have United Health Care as your insurance provider, because your premiums are already paying for by diabetes treatment. Just as our premiums went into paying for my triplet niece and nephews' stay in the NNICU when they were born 8 weeks early. The premiums paid by the healthy are subsidizing the treatment of the sick. We all take our turn on both ends of the cycle. This only seems to be a problem when the subsidy is called a "tax" instead of a "premium." Call it "macaroni." I'm always up for some antics, but as long as I've got medical professionals to tend to me if I go into an insulin coma I don't give a shit what you call it.
If you tell me taxes are too high, Cousin, you done stepped in it. I am not married. I do not own a house. I do not, nor do I intend to have children. I will not live to collect one cent of Social Security. How do my tax deductions compare to yours? How does my tax benefit compare to yours?
If you don't feel like you should pay for my health care, then kindly tell your parents and grandparents to give me back my fucking Social Security payments. You can pay to complete your garage and let them putter around in there. Or pay to euthanize them. I don't give a shit, but give me back my money. Furthermore, you can pay for your kids' tuition, books, athletic uniforms, etc your damn self. Shut up, and give me back my money. I'll use it to pay for my own damn health care.
Of course that's not the way I feel about the matter. I'm playing devil's advocate to make my point. I don't want previous generations who made this country strong and sacrificed for my freedom to live in squalor. They should get Social Security. I don't want younger generations to grow up to be stupid, ill-informed jackals (though I question their parents' and teachers dedication to that cause.) I want our society to be civilized one. So let's act like it, and take care of one another instead of quibbling over semantics.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Status Quo
Wake up goddamn it!
I heard Carlos Santana say, "Everyday is a battlefield, but if you fight with anger in your heart, you're the problem. If you fight with joy, you're the solution." Amen brother! (By the way if you want a source of joy check out "Safiatou" by Herbie Hancock ft. Carlos Santana and the amazing Angelique Kidjo. If that don't make you feel good you have no soul. If you have no soul you needn't read any further. Damn it, this ain't for you.)
Santana hit it on the head, my minions. I would alter the wording slightly, "If you fight with hatred, you're the problem. If you fight with bitterness, you're the problem." In order to fully round out the concept expressed by Santana, it must be combined with an idea expressed by the incomparable Dr. Maya Angelou who said, "If you're not angry you're either a stone, or you're too sick to be angry. You should be angry. Now, mind you there's a difference, you must never be bitter...Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger, yes. You write it, you paint it, you dance it, you march it, you vote it, you do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it." You're goddamn right!
Take a look around, minions. If you're not angry you're either a stone or you're too sick to be angry. That is largely true. We must also include a vast percentage of the population that is too tame to be angry. We've been taught to be passive. "You shouldn't let that upset you. There's nothing you can do about it." Yeah. Right. Why should I get myself worked up about it? There is nothing I can do to change it. I'm only one man. But there is something WE can do about it. We could change things. We should change things. We all agree to varying degrees that things are pretty much fucked. Why aren't we angry? Nevermind doing everything about it. Why aren't we doing anything about it? Because it's too damn hard. Actually, it's not. Together we can accomplish anything, but we've been conditioned to make the minimal acceptable effort in all things. We don't want to rock the boat, because we could lose everything. All of our comforts, and shitty-little possessions, and everything we love could be snatched away if we don't stay in line and silently follow the herd. At least that's what the culture of fear leads us all to believe. We want shiny cars, and giant TV's, and a pretty wife without a thought in her head, and a rich husband with no soul, and perfect little children to whom we can never say "No" that a live in a big, beautiful house that appreciates in value at regular intervals. Right? They're not just wants, they're needs. These are the things you need in order for your life to mean something, and your life has to mean something, at least in everybody else's eyes. You can't do anything to impede whatever forward momentum you might have toward obtaining these things. They're the tangible evidence that you are good. The cost? Doesn't matter. You have to stay in line. You can't rock the boat. You can't object. You can't question.
..."all of your lack of aggression. Pull your skirt back down. Grow a set, man!"-Shawn Carter.
The status quo also seems to mandate that all of the reproducers need to recite the herd's motto, "What about the children? What kind of world are we going live for our kids?" If you're having a hard time reconciling how questions can be a motto, so am I. That's just what a bunch of pussies we've all become. Well, when combined with the fact that nobody bothers to look at the answer. I don't even have kids, and I'm terrified of the world we're leaving my niece and nephews, and all of the generations to follow. A world where the parents haven't told their kids "No." As a result, they never learn to deal with disappointment or adversity. Which means they'll never learn to overcome disappointment or adversity, which you do by fighting. Fighting those feelings of defeat builds the character that is needed to make your world a better place. The character you need to: question authority, to fight injustice, to stand up and shout in defense of reason in the face of an irrational mob, to fight with the joy that comes from the knowledge that we as a species are capable of so much more than this. The joy that comes from the knowledge that you have indeed left behind a generation better than yours, who can leave behind a generation better than their's, and so on until, many generations from now, humanity reaches our fullest potential, and accomplishes all of which we are capable.
Just the knowledge of the fact that such potential exists, and that we have only glimpsed it in: Newton, and Einstein, and Shakespeare, and Davis, and Lennon, and Pryor, and Kinison, and Bill Hicks, and Dr. Angelou, and Dr. King, and Malcolm X, and Beethoven, and Mozart, and all of the genius that has come before us, and has left a better world for us, is enough to fill me with joy I can barely contain. It feels me with joy in spite of the fact that we are falling immeasurably short of achieving this potential. That we're wasting it. We're just giving it all away. That is why we must fight! We must fight with joy of our potential success, and anger about our recent failures, but never bitterness. What other choice is there?
My boy Maynard James Keenan told us, "the only way to fix it is to flush it all away." We better hope he's not right. We better be ready to fight.
I heard Carlos Santana say, "Everyday is a battlefield, but if you fight with anger in your heart, you're the problem. If you fight with joy, you're the solution." Amen brother! (By the way if you want a source of joy check out "Safiatou" by Herbie Hancock ft. Carlos Santana and the amazing Angelique Kidjo. If that don't make you feel good you have no soul. If you have no soul you needn't read any further. Damn it, this ain't for you.)
Santana hit it on the head, my minions. I would alter the wording slightly, "If you fight with hatred, you're the problem. If you fight with bitterness, you're the problem." In order to fully round out the concept expressed by Santana, it must be combined with an idea expressed by the incomparable Dr. Maya Angelou who said, "If you're not angry you're either a stone, or you're too sick to be angry. You should be angry. Now, mind you there's a difference, you must never be bitter...Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger, yes. You write it, you paint it, you dance it, you march it, you vote it, you do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it." You're goddamn right!
Take a look around, minions. If you're not angry you're either a stone or you're too sick to be angry. That is largely true. We must also include a vast percentage of the population that is too tame to be angry. We've been taught to be passive. "You shouldn't let that upset you. There's nothing you can do about it." Yeah. Right. Why should I get myself worked up about it? There is nothing I can do to change it. I'm only one man. But there is something WE can do about it. We could change things. We should change things. We all agree to varying degrees that things are pretty much fucked. Why aren't we angry? Nevermind doing everything about it. Why aren't we doing anything about it? Because it's too damn hard. Actually, it's not. Together we can accomplish anything, but we've been conditioned to make the minimal acceptable effort in all things. We don't want to rock the boat, because we could lose everything. All of our comforts, and shitty-little possessions, and everything we love could be snatched away if we don't stay in line and silently follow the herd. At least that's what the culture of fear leads us all to believe. We want shiny cars, and giant TV's, and a pretty wife without a thought in her head, and a rich husband with no soul, and perfect little children to whom we can never say "No" that a live in a big, beautiful house that appreciates in value at regular intervals. Right? They're not just wants, they're needs. These are the things you need in order for your life to mean something, and your life has to mean something, at least in everybody else's eyes. You can't do anything to impede whatever forward momentum you might have toward obtaining these things. They're the tangible evidence that you are good. The cost? Doesn't matter. You have to stay in line. You can't rock the boat. You can't object. You can't question.
..."all of your lack of aggression. Pull your skirt back down. Grow a set, man!"-Shawn Carter.
The status quo also seems to mandate that all of the reproducers need to recite the herd's motto, "What about the children? What kind of world are we going live for our kids?" If you're having a hard time reconciling how questions can be a motto, so am I. That's just what a bunch of pussies we've all become. Well, when combined with the fact that nobody bothers to look at the answer. I don't even have kids, and I'm terrified of the world we're leaving my niece and nephews, and all of the generations to follow. A world where the parents haven't told their kids "No." As a result, they never learn to deal with disappointment or adversity. Which means they'll never learn to overcome disappointment or adversity, which you do by fighting. Fighting those feelings of defeat builds the character that is needed to make your world a better place. The character you need to: question authority, to fight injustice, to stand up and shout in defense of reason in the face of an irrational mob, to fight with the joy that comes from the knowledge that we as a species are capable of so much more than this. The joy that comes from the knowledge that you have indeed left behind a generation better than yours, who can leave behind a generation better than their's, and so on until, many generations from now, humanity reaches our fullest potential, and accomplishes all of which we are capable.
Just the knowledge of the fact that such potential exists, and that we have only glimpsed it in: Newton, and Einstein, and Shakespeare, and Davis, and Lennon, and Pryor, and Kinison, and Bill Hicks, and Dr. Angelou, and Dr. King, and Malcolm X, and Beethoven, and Mozart, and all of the genius that has come before us, and has left a better world for us, is enough to fill me with joy I can barely contain. It feels me with joy in spite of the fact that we are falling immeasurably short of achieving this potential. That we're wasting it. We're just giving it all away. That is why we must fight! We must fight with joy of our potential success, and anger about our recent failures, but never bitterness. What other choice is there?
My boy Maynard James Keenan told us, "the only way to fix it is to flush it all away." We better hope he's not right. We better be ready to fight.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Leverage
Wake up goddamn it!!
They say, "you can't trust a man who's never been married." What they mean to say is, "the wicked can't trust a man who's never been married."
How can you trust a man like this? Which is to say, how can you trust someone you can't control? If you're his boss and you need him to compromise his morals and/or integrity how can you persuade him to do things your way? He doesn't have a wife who will nag him mercilessly until his dying day if he makes a decision that costs him a promotion and her dreams of fine home furnishings. He doesn't have children whose educations and future security you can threaten.
If you're a woman interested in securing her future, what do you do with this man? Give him the pussy until he can't live without it? Get him to marry you? Give him a child who he loves above all? Give him the sense that a mortgage and two car notes will make life complete? Bury him under a mountain of obligation that he can't possibly walk away from without earning the scorn of everyone he knows? What if he can smell a lie, and will only marry an honest woman? What if that ability allows him to reject the premise that you must have a wife and kids to have a life that is "worth something"?
It seems that everything in our society has become about leverage. Become the gatekeeper to someone's happiness, and they will do thy bidding. What if their happiness comes from within? What if they determine their own worth and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks? You have nothing with which to threaten them. How can you trust this person? To me is sounds like he is inherently trustworthy. He is guided by morality and integrity. But what if you are not? Ah! There's the rub. If your intentions are corrupt, how can you trust this man without any leverage over him? You can't.
You can't trust a man who's never been married.
They say, "you can't trust a man who's never been married." What they mean to say is, "the wicked can't trust a man who's never been married."
How can you trust a man like this? Which is to say, how can you trust someone you can't control? If you're his boss and you need him to compromise his morals and/or integrity how can you persuade him to do things your way? He doesn't have a wife who will nag him mercilessly until his dying day if he makes a decision that costs him a promotion and her dreams of fine home furnishings. He doesn't have children whose educations and future security you can threaten.
If you're a woman interested in securing her future, what do you do with this man? Give him the pussy until he can't live without it? Get him to marry you? Give him a child who he loves above all? Give him the sense that a mortgage and two car notes will make life complete? Bury him under a mountain of obligation that he can't possibly walk away from without earning the scorn of everyone he knows? What if he can smell a lie, and will only marry an honest woman? What if that ability allows him to reject the premise that you must have a wife and kids to have a life that is "worth something"?
It seems that everything in our society has become about leverage. Become the gatekeeper to someone's happiness, and they will do thy bidding. What if their happiness comes from within? What if they determine their own worth and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks? You have nothing with which to threaten them. How can you trust this person? To me is sounds like he is inherently trustworthy. He is guided by morality and integrity. But what if you are not? Ah! There's the rub. If your intentions are corrupt, how can you trust this man without any leverage over him? You can't.
You can't trust a man who's never been married.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Fuck Santa Claus! Fuck him up his stupid ass!!
Wake up goddamn it!
Is it any surprise that my resentment of Jolly Old Saint Nick was awakened while watching Badder Santa on DVD? Not because of any of Billy Bob's actions as the title character. Though I am quite envious of the fact that he spent half the movie groping Lauren Graham's sweet ass. (Lucky bastard.) No. Not that. I was startled by the realization that all of the bullshit that we deal with in the adult world, all of the games in romantic relationships, all of the passive-aggressive manipulation we deal with at work, all of these behaviors stem from Santa Claus. Well, the lie that is Santa Claus anyway. Think about it, my minions. What is Santa Claus? It's a lie that the world tells to children to make them feel good, and give their parents a vicarious joy. Oh, I understand it. Look at their little, smiling faces. It's adorable, no arguments here. But what are we teaching our kids with this fantasy? What lesson do they take from it when it gives way to the reality that there is no Santa Claus? We all tell kids that it's not okay to lie, but we show them that it is okay to lie if you're doing it to make somebody feel good. I realize that's not the intention, but look at the results. How many people do you know who lie to manipulate people's emotions to some self-serving end? How many people do you know grew up believing in Santa Claus? I've done the math. The application of Advanced Boxx-imetrics to this scenario has confirmed my theories.
What's easier to tell somebody? That you're fucking somebody else because you can't control your base urges, or that you're going out with the girls? You love your boyfriend. You don't want to hurt him, but you want to have your cock and eat it too. You get something out of both relationships. Just as your parents got joy out of watching you beam with happiness when you opened the presents that Santa brought you. Now put down the self righteous indignation, and get over the initial shock of what a huge leap it is from the Santa conspiracy to getting some strange poon when you're supposed to be helping your buddy move, and look at it. I'm not saying it's an immediate, over-night jump from Santa to fucking your wife's best friend on her couch, obviously. But slowly, over the years from childhood to adult-life. Year after year, and lie after "harmless, little white-lie" you inch your way there. All the while using "protecting their feelings" as the justification for whatever self-serving manipulation is on the menu. When was the last time you were honest with the people you love? When was the last time you were honest with yourself? How did it get this far? Can you even see where you started? I can. It was in some fat-guy's sleigh. That's why I say, "Fuck Santa!"
Give someone you love some honesty this Christmas. Let DeBeers fend for themselves.
Is it any surprise that my resentment of Jolly Old Saint Nick was awakened while watching Badder Santa on DVD? Not because of any of Billy Bob's actions as the title character. Though I am quite envious of the fact that he spent half the movie groping Lauren Graham's sweet ass. (Lucky bastard.) No. Not that. I was startled by the realization that all of the bullshit that we deal with in the adult world, all of the games in romantic relationships, all of the passive-aggressive manipulation we deal with at work, all of these behaviors stem from Santa Claus. Well, the lie that is Santa Claus anyway. Think about it, my minions. What is Santa Claus? It's a lie that the world tells to children to make them feel good, and give their parents a vicarious joy. Oh, I understand it. Look at their little, smiling faces. It's adorable, no arguments here. But what are we teaching our kids with this fantasy? What lesson do they take from it when it gives way to the reality that there is no Santa Claus? We all tell kids that it's not okay to lie, but we show them that it is okay to lie if you're doing it to make somebody feel good. I realize that's not the intention, but look at the results. How many people do you know who lie to manipulate people's emotions to some self-serving end? How many people do you know grew up believing in Santa Claus? I've done the math. The application of Advanced Boxx-imetrics to this scenario has confirmed my theories.
What's easier to tell somebody? That you're fucking somebody else because you can't control your base urges, or that you're going out with the girls? You love your boyfriend. You don't want to hurt him, but you want to have your cock and eat it too. You get something out of both relationships. Just as your parents got joy out of watching you beam with happiness when you opened the presents that Santa brought you. Now put down the self righteous indignation, and get over the initial shock of what a huge leap it is from the Santa conspiracy to getting some strange poon when you're supposed to be helping your buddy move, and look at it. I'm not saying it's an immediate, over-night jump from Santa to fucking your wife's best friend on her couch, obviously. But slowly, over the years from childhood to adult-life. Year after year, and lie after "harmless, little white-lie" you inch your way there. All the while using "protecting their feelings" as the justification for whatever self-serving manipulation is on the menu. When was the last time you were honest with the people you love? When was the last time you were honest with yourself? How did it get this far? Can you even see where you started? I can. It was in some fat-guy's sleigh. That's why I say, "Fuck Santa!"
Give someone you love some honesty this Christmas. Let DeBeers fend for themselves.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Theater of the Random
Why is it okay for a woman I am meeting for the first time to lead off the conversation with, "What do you do?" whilst it is totally verboten for me to ask, "Do you swallow?" after answering her query?
They're both questions that get right to the heart of that which our respective genders are hardwired to be primarily concerned. For the ladies, security. For the blokes, sexual pleasure. Is that so wrong?
I don't think so either, but polite society dictates that we should make the effort to control our base urges. That's fine. But if I'm not allowed to ask about your dick-taking abilities, could you at least attempt to concern yourself with something other than my money-making abilities?
I'm not sayin. I'm just sayin.
They're both questions that get right to the heart of that which our respective genders are hardwired to be primarily concerned. For the ladies, security. For the blokes, sexual pleasure. Is that so wrong?
I don't think so either, but polite society dictates that we should make the effort to control our base urges. That's fine. But if I'm not allowed to ask about your dick-taking abilities, could you at least attempt to concern yourself with something other than my money-making abilities?
I'm not sayin. I'm just sayin.
The Power of Genius
Wake up goddamn it!!
Watching the History Channel today I heard physicist Michio Kaku describe Eintstein in this way, "...that is the power of genius. The force of will to make the necessary mistakes to find the right answer."
Stop to think about that, my minions. Not with regard to physics, but with regard to life. Not with regard to geniuses, but with regard to all of us. "The force of will to make the necessary mistakes to find the right answer." That is a major source of youthful rebellion. "Don't tell me what to do. Let me figure it out for myself." Many children and teens feel this way, probably without knowing why. They are instinctively beginning their journey along the path to self discovery. Talk a the wisest elder you know. If you ask, they will probably tell you they were spectacularly foolish in their youth. They made lots of mistakes. Probably painful mistakes. As a diabetic I know something about this. People don't change until they feel the pain.
Looking back, I was an idiot and an asshole. I've made bad decisions. I've treated people poorly. I've made mistakes that still cause pain and embarrassment upon reflection. And I am much better for it. I learned from those mistakes, and that knowledge has allowed me to grow and move forward along the path the self discovery. Keep in mind that some of those mistakes can never be undone, and some of the wounds never healed, but I will never again inflict them upon myself or others. I haven't found THE right answer, but that is a journey with an infinite path. Pi is also infinite, but its application is infinitely useful. That is the principle we are talking about. With each new "digit", or piece of information, or wisdom gained your "answer" becomes more accurate. Put simply, with each mistake from which wisdom is gained you become a better and stronger person.
It is important to infer what is not stated in Kaku's observation. What becomes of those who lack the will to find the right answer? You already know. You see it everyday. They become the ubiquitous douche-bags that you encounter with disheartening frequency.
At this point I must digress to define a term you will definitely see me address at great length in the future, Generation Douche. We've had: The Greatest Generation,
The Baby Boomers, Generation X, Generation Y, and now Generation Douche. Not the most poetic monicre, but I'm not a poet. The importance of the definition far exceeds that of the name. These people are usually under 25 years of age. They are self involved. They do not think ahead. They are incapable of even perceiving their own mistakes, let alone learning from them. At 30 they will be the exact same person they were at 20. If you're having a hard time putting a face to the name, turn on the T.V. You can see Nth stage cases of this syndrome on almost every reality show. Especially those on MTV, VH1, and Bravo.
Now that you understand what I mean, you can observe that these people are the flipside to the Kaku's assertion. They are eternally 6 years old. They are raging ego. They are driven by desire. The desire to appear and feel cool. This disables the mechanism for growth by eliminating their ability to feel bad. If you are always cool and always right, you don't feel bad about anything you do because you can always justify it to yourself. Even if you can't justify your actions to anyone else. If people only change when they feel the pain, and Generation Douche-bags can't feel the pain, how will they change? How will they grow? How will they make progress along the path toward self discovery? How will they become a member of society useful to anyone but themselves?
If you are a parent, these questions are extremely important. Your child could be at risk to become a Generation Douche-bag. It is a natural instinct for parents to want their children's lives to be better than theirs. Easier. However, I must caution you against making their lives too easy. If they grow up knowing no possibilities other than getting their way, they will not possess the tools necessary to grow and self discover. They will always be needy. They will always be whiny. They may end up on a VH1 reality show. Is that a child you want to raise? Is that a result that is more desirable than feeling guilty about your child's disappointment at hearing you say "no" from time to time? As you answer these questions to yourself, realize that I am fostering self discovery in you, my minions. The knowledge is far more impactful when you come to it on your on than it would be if I spoon fed it to you.
If you answered "yes" to the last two questions, you might be a Generation Douche-bag.
Watching the History Channel today I heard physicist Michio Kaku describe Eintstein in this way, "...that is the power of genius. The force of will to make the necessary mistakes to find the right answer."
Stop to think about that, my minions. Not with regard to physics, but with regard to life. Not with regard to geniuses, but with regard to all of us. "The force of will to make the necessary mistakes to find the right answer." That is a major source of youthful rebellion. "Don't tell me what to do. Let me figure it out for myself." Many children and teens feel this way, probably without knowing why. They are instinctively beginning their journey along the path to self discovery. Talk a the wisest elder you know. If you ask, they will probably tell you they were spectacularly foolish in their youth. They made lots of mistakes. Probably painful mistakes. As a diabetic I know something about this. People don't change until they feel the pain.
Looking back, I was an idiot and an asshole. I've made bad decisions. I've treated people poorly. I've made mistakes that still cause pain and embarrassment upon reflection. And I am much better for it. I learned from those mistakes, and that knowledge has allowed me to grow and move forward along the path the self discovery. Keep in mind that some of those mistakes can never be undone, and some of the wounds never healed, but I will never again inflict them upon myself or others. I haven't found THE right answer, but that is a journey with an infinite path. Pi is also infinite, but its application is infinitely useful. That is the principle we are talking about. With each new "digit", or piece of information, or wisdom gained your "answer" becomes more accurate. Put simply, with each mistake from which wisdom is gained you become a better and stronger person.
It is important to infer what is not stated in Kaku's observation. What becomes of those who lack the will to find the right answer? You already know. You see it everyday. They become the ubiquitous douche-bags that you encounter with disheartening frequency.
At this point I must digress to define a term you will definitely see me address at great length in the future, Generation Douche. We've had: The Greatest Generation,
The Baby Boomers, Generation X, Generation Y, and now Generation Douche. Not the most poetic monicre, but I'm not a poet. The importance of the definition far exceeds that of the name. These people are usually under 25 years of age. They are self involved. They do not think ahead. They are incapable of even perceiving their own mistakes, let alone learning from them. At 30 they will be the exact same person they were at 20. If you're having a hard time putting a face to the name, turn on the T.V. You can see Nth stage cases of this syndrome on almost every reality show. Especially those on MTV, VH1, and Bravo.
Now that you understand what I mean, you can observe that these people are the flipside to the Kaku's assertion. They are eternally 6 years old. They are raging ego. They are driven by desire. The desire to appear and feel cool. This disables the mechanism for growth by eliminating their ability to feel bad. If you are always cool and always right, you don't feel bad about anything you do because you can always justify it to yourself. Even if you can't justify your actions to anyone else. If people only change when they feel the pain, and Generation Douche-bags can't feel the pain, how will they change? How will they grow? How will they make progress along the path toward self discovery? How will they become a member of society useful to anyone but themselves?
If you are a parent, these questions are extremely important. Your child could be at risk to become a Generation Douche-bag. It is a natural instinct for parents to want their children's lives to be better than theirs. Easier. However, I must caution you against making their lives too easy. If they grow up knowing no possibilities other than getting their way, they will not possess the tools necessary to grow and self discover. They will always be needy. They will always be whiny. They may end up on a VH1 reality show. Is that a child you want to raise? Is that a result that is more desirable than feeling guilty about your child's disappointment at hearing you say "no" from time to time? As you answer these questions to yourself, realize that I am fostering self discovery in you, my minions. The knowledge is far more impactful when you come to it on your on than it would be if I spoon fed it to you.
If you answered "yes" to the last two questions, you might be a Generation Douche-bag.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Everything but the Pussy.
Wake up goddamn it!!
And no, I am not talking about cats. You saw the content warning before you entered. Fuck you.
I just saw a commercial for a spanish-language phone sex line. As much as I love how egalitarian that is, I still hate how puritanical this country's value structure is. It's 2008 in America. Any ad that isn't selling pussy, is using pussy to sell whatever the fuck they're pushing.
Girls Gone Wild, The Girls Next Door, Budweiser, eHarmony, The Spirit, Wanted, any of the "...of Love" or "...Charm School" reality shows, The Pick Up Artist, Beauty and the Geek, the list is endless.
In the most capitalistic country on earth, a country that is all about sex, drugs, and rock and roll... the only one you can legally sell is rock and roll (unless your at Wal-Mart).
I know some of you are gonna tell me there's a couple of counties in Nevada where prostitution is legal. Listen, if I'm not willing to put forth the effort to tell some broad what she wants to hear, and pretend to be the man of her dreams in order to get laid for the cost of a steak dinner and a couple of martinis, do you honestly think I'm willing to make the 500 mile trek to ButtFuck, NV (pardon the pun) to get some $1,000 ass? Of course I'm not. (And I'm not advocating deceptive behavior. I'm just saying that's what it takes to get laid these days. If you don't believe me, go to a bar, or a club, or an online dating service. "I was given this world, I didn't make it." Besides, I just said I won't do that shit. So don't try to make me the bad guy on this one. Kiss my ass.)
Seriously, let's get over it already folks. We're not fooling anybody but ourselves. Sex is tatooed on our DNA. If you're not doing it, you're thinking about doing it. Again, if you don't believe me take a look at the world around you. So how, in this day and age, can we possibly justify this contradicktion? It's legal to carry it, it's legal to use it, it's legal to sell its image (to anyone over 18), it's just not legal to sell IT itself. What else is there in this country that falls into this category? Pussy is one of the few commodities on Earth for which there is a universal demand, along with water, oxygen, and a few others. It is the only one which is illegal to sell. Why?
I'm not even a whore-monger. Nor am I advocating whore-mongering. My issue is with the ackwards-bass logic in this country. Is there any justification for this inconsistent "classification", for lack of a better word, of the poonani? Anything besides the fact that this land was colonized by a bunch of reiligious crusted nut-bars who view sex as a taboo? I don't think so.
For those who want to bring God into it. Are you telling me that the same God who made the human body, and created sex as the mechanism for perpetuating the species while simultaneously expressing romantic love (greatest of all gifts), and embedded the desire for sex deep within our nature as humans to the point that it is a central preoccupation from puberty on; that God doesn't want us to have and enjoy sex as often as possible? If Judeo-Christian values is where you're coming from, what's wrong with tons of sex within the parameters of a monogomous relationship? If you can reconcile these issues, then you must work in the Legislative Branch and be contributing to the legal framework that creates these very same contradictions.
*Ladies, (or gays) feel free to substitute dick for pussy. Lesbians, feel free to re-subtitute pussy for dick. That's not the heart of the issue. The point I'm making is about the contradictory ways this country deals with sex.
And no, I am not talking about cats. You saw the content warning before you entered. Fuck you.
I just saw a commercial for a spanish-language phone sex line. As much as I love how egalitarian that is, I still hate how puritanical this country's value structure is. It's 2008 in America. Any ad that isn't selling pussy, is using pussy to sell whatever the fuck they're pushing.
Girls Gone Wild, The Girls Next Door, Budweiser, eHarmony, The Spirit, Wanted, any of the "...of Love" or "...Charm School" reality shows, The Pick Up Artist, Beauty and the Geek, the list is endless.
In the most capitalistic country on earth, a country that is all about sex, drugs, and rock and roll... the only one you can legally sell is rock and roll (unless your at Wal-Mart).
I know some of you are gonna tell me there's a couple of counties in Nevada where prostitution is legal. Listen, if I'm not willing to put forth the effort to tell some broad what she wants to hear, and pretend to be the man of her dreams in order to get laid for the cost of a steak dinner and a couple of martinis, do you honestly think I'm willing to make the 500 mile trek to ButtFuck, NV (pardon the pun) to get some $1,000 ass? Of course I'm not. (And I'm not advocating deceptive behavior. I'm just saying that's what it takes to get laid these days. If you don't believe me, go to a bar, or a club, or an online dating service. "I was given this world, I didn't make it." Besides, I just said I won't do that shit. So don't try to make me the bad guy on this one. Kiss my ass.)
Seriously, let's get over it already folks. We're not fooling anybody but ourselves. Sex is tatooed on our DNA. If you're not doing it, you're thinking about doing it. Again, if you don't believe me take a look at the world around you. So how, in this day and age, can we possibly justify this contradicktion? It's legal to carry it, it's legal to use it, it's legal to sell its image (to anyone over 18), it's just not legal to sell IT itself. What else is there in this country that falls into this category? Pussy is one of the few commodities on Earth for which there is a universal demand, along with water, oxygen, and a few others. It is the only one which is illegal to sell. Why?
I'm not even a whore-monger. Nor am I advocating whore-mongering. My issue is with the ackwards-bass logic in this country. Is there any justification for this inconsistent "classification", for lack of a better word, of the poonani? Anything besides the fact that this land was colonized by a bunch of reiligious crusted nut-bars who view sex as a taboo? I don't think so.
For those who want to bring God into it. Are you telling me that the same God who made the human body, and created sex as the mechanism for perpetuating the species while simultaneously expressing romantic love (greatest of all gifts), and embedded the desire for sex deep within our nature as humans to the point that it is a central preoccupation from puberty on; that God doesn't want us to have and enjoy sex as often as possible? If Judeo-Christian values is where you're coming from, what's wrong with tons of sex within the parameters of a monogomous relationship? If you can reconcile these issues, then you must work in the Legislative Branch and be contributing to the legal framework that creates these very same contradictions.
*Ladies, (or gays) feel free to substitute dick for pussy. Lesbians, feel free to re-subtitute pussy for dick. That's not the heart of the issue. The point I'm making is about the contradictory ways this country deals with sex.
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