Theater of the Random

If we're dating and you couldn't care more about what your parents think, and I couldn't care less about what your parents think. (Or mine for that matter.) Who's the asshole?
(Since your parents raised and adult-child who is totally preoccupied with their parents' opinions, they are also viable candidates to be the correct answer.)

I hate anyone who refers to their home as their "showplace".

Normal people scare the shit out of me. God knows how they act when they're not busy looking normal. I like idiosincracies and foibles like I like tits: right out where I can see 'em.

Since we're not supposed to refer to lame and unmanly behavior as "gay", because it's desparaging to homosexuals, or call men who behave in such a fashion as "bitches", because it's degrading to women; could someone do me a solid and come up with alternate terms we can use? Thank you.

...oh! And "retarded"! Apparently we need a substitute for retarded. Thank you.